Hurdles

Blueb is asleep on my shoulder, which, according to a certain piece of advice that I have been given countless times, means I should be sleeping. I don't feel like sleeping. Sleep is for wimps. If she were not asleep on my shoulder, I would mosey over to the other computer, whereon we keep photos, and gift you with yet another picture of her. But that will have to wait until the next post.

Guess what yesterday was!! Blueberry's birthday! She was born one month ago. It has been a great month for her. There may have been a gestational month that puts this past month to shame; perhaps the month wherein Hazel had a severe limp due to hip pain first on one side, then the other, creating a constant carnival ride in the womb. But I would have to guess that being able to meet her parents face to face, and being able to see, smell, hear, touch and taste so much better, and learning so many new things every day, and wearing fabulous clothes, all come together to make this the best month of her life so far.

Two of the goals I had for Blueberry were to breastfeed her and to use cloth diapers. When telling people about either of these goals, I always added, "If it works out." I've heard of so many people with the best intentions who couldn't make these work, so I didn't want it to be a huge source of disappointment for me if it didn't work for us. I'm happy to say that both goals have been met.

Cloth diapers have been surprisingly easy. We used a lot of disposables in the first few days at home, because they were available; we had a lot of samples accumulated which I had planned to keep for "emergencies", but the emergency turned out to be bringing home a new baby. As things got into a routine, we got the cloth going, and now we only use a disposable every few days if Hazel hasn't been quick enough with restocking the various diaper stations throughout the house. Yesterday I ordered the next size up for diapers and covers, even though she won't be needing them for a few months. I just want to be prepared. It's the Boy Scout in me I guess. Also, I love online shopping so it's always the first thing on my to-do list to get done.

Breastfeeding was a NIGHTMARE to establish. That experience alone was the source of all of my angst and sleep deprivation during the first week of Blueberry's life, and was worse than anything I experienced in the pregnancy, labor, or delivery. A friend who had similar problems referred to the two weeks that it took her to establish breastfeeding as "The Dark Period", and I totally agree. It's awful to be trying incessantly, around the clock to feed your baby and not to be able to do it. Just awful. She was able to get plenty of food, just not directly from me. If you want the details, I'll share, but not on the blog. You see, I'm uncomfortable talking about my boobs in a public forum. Many people are. This pretty much gets to the point of the major reason I and so many other Americans have difficulties with breastfeeding: because breasts are a taboo subject. If I had talked with other women throughout my life about breastfeeding, and shared in their experience in the way I have with other topics and activities that aren't taboo, I would have been more prepared. There is a lot to talk about; it's not as simple as I thought. It's a lost art. There are a lot of things about it that you have to learn, whereas I had thought it would be a piece of cake, as long as everything was working properly and I was willing to put in the time to feed her. So easy a caveman can do it. But the fact that it was so difficult to make it work makes me very grateful to be able to breastfeed her. I don't take it for granted and I'm kind of obsessed about making it continue to work.

I'll try to post more photos and videos soon.

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